Paternal Moment

I must have been about 13 or so when Dad was diving along I-74 between Champaign and Mahomet when I Want To Know What Love Is was playing on the radio. I remember there was a high-pitched him coming from the stereo and I associated it with Dolby – which was a new technology all those years ago. I associated it with the hum with the tiny red dot of light to the right of the hole for cassette tapes.

The headlights groped along the highway like a submarine along the ocean floor. The prairie scrub gave me the impression of algae straining towards bleak sunlight. When I looked up, the thick clouds were almost glowing from moonlight but all I saw was the moment where the ocean meets the sky – I was a bottom-dweller cocooned by quiet light and sound.

All the while the song chimed with my sad and lonely soul: I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. I want to feel what love is. Because I’ve never felt it.

Published by Jade Hammer

It is in the deepest night that I have contemplated all the things I have thought, said and done. Why these things come to me at night probably says a lot about how the mind belittles and magnifies aspects of the personality. In sleeplessness, you see nothing, you also see everything: life themes, life lessons, ways to better approach your own thoughts, words and deeds. My name is Jade Hammer and these are the life lessons that have kept me up at night.

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